Caved and got Twitter as well:
http://twitter.com/RingCampanaCan't believe it's going to be April tomorrow. Time sure flies. I have a meeting with my advisor at 5:00 and hopefully she can help me start to sort stuff out.
I've really been at odds and ends lately. I really hate it when people ask me what my major is since I'm still undecided. I know that's not unusual for a freshman, but I don't even have a clue what I want to do. I came to SBC with a lot of interests and things I wanted to do, but none of them were really things that you could get an job in right away, and they were either 'do or don't' kind of jobs; meaning you either succeeded or failed.
My parents have worked so hard to get my where I am. Not just my parents, but my brothers as well. Immigrating was no easy thing for them, and I know that they've always dreamed of returning. They tried as those of you who have known me long enough know, but that totally fell through and I can't help but feel that was in part due to me. If I hadn't wanted to stay at LCDS so bad mom and I might have gone back with Dad and maybe things might have worked.
I want to be able to do well by them, give them comfortable lives, and honestly I think as long as I can do that and live comfortably myself I'll take almost any job. It's gotten to the point where my desire to have a profitable job after school has not only trumped, but squashed all other desire so I'm not even passionate about anything anymore. People keep saying 'you have to do something you'll be happy in' but I can't even think of anything I'll be particularly happy in anymore. Not to say I think I'll be miserable with whatever job I have; I just think I'm completely indifferent at this point.
I guess this is all coming up now since I was just talking to Jami about it yesterday. I've actually considered dropping out of college because I honestly don't think I'll gain anything out of it. Unless I can somehow set myself on a path where a degree will actually mean anything, which I think without graduate school it won't--and I definitely can't go onto graduate school. So really at this point school just seems like a waste of time, and more importantly, a waste of money. If I do drop out I'll probably take massage school up and go into that. Fior told me Kiko has started it and I want to talk to him as soon as possible to see how much it costs, what it's like, if they help you find a job, etc.
I know most advisers will probably nudge me into staying cause well...it's kinda mandatory for them to encourage us to stay at the school but from the previous talks we've had she really does seem great, and genuine in her care for us. So hopefully she can help me get my head on straight or at least see some other possibilities.
On an off note, one of my relatives had twins the 27th. First twins in the family.
Edit: So I came back from my meeting. Before I left Stacey and I talked a bit and she told me she'd been feeling the same way too and how she'd be considering a international/governmental major of sorts. I never really thought about that seriously before. I was never that into politics until recently and I'll be honest I'm way behind in my knowledge of even some basic concepts.
But with economy as it is, it's probably one of the few fields that's still stable. Not only that but since I speak Spanish fluently I'm sure that would be a good plus for me. If I take another language while I'm here at Sweet Briar that'd give me even more bonus points.
I'm still not sure if I'd be quite smart enough for something like that. Registration doesn't begin till the 10th but I looked at some classes with my adviser and for right now the ones I'm considering taking are:
Intro to American Politics
Intro to International Relations
Advanced Spanish Grammar and Composition
Banned Books
Intro to Creative Writing
Fencing
Speaking of Fencing, it didn't happen this year already which is kind of annoying. I went the first day of class and they were like "It's only half a semester, you'll get an email" Email never came =/ I hope that isn't held against me. Hopefully it can happen next year.
Hopefully this can all work out.